Who's to blame?

Ive been sitting here thinking that i really have to have this talk with Tara.. the one that says where in the fuck is our relationship going cause this is how i really feel about everything.. yeah that one.. anyways for those of you that dont know.. im waiting for the tests.. they are back but we dont know the results until probably tommorow. so im thinking about what to say and how to say it.. my first thought of course would be wouldnt it be nice to just say it and she understand it... lol.. yeah in my dreams maybe. So anyho.. im trying to say in my head what i blame her for.. kinda like making an outline ya know.. then after i list a list.. a few being breaking promises like she will always taking care of me.. then pushing me out of the boat to sink or swim.. ok that is extreme.. but not much.. here i am more independant than i have almost ever been except when it came to my son.. and now she wants to go back.. i cant ever depend on anyone but me every again. i want her to stick up for our situation.. helll to stick up for us.. but then i realize whos fault is it ultimitely when i stay under the excuse of love.. stay here and stay quiet.